What it used to be0
Before I became a mother I was a downtown girl married to a downtown guy. We frequented hip new restaurants and downed cocktails with our friends. I slept in late on days off and loved my moments wandering around downtown Vancouver. Grabbing a carefree coffee with a girlfriend. Oh the life! It was wonderful. We lovingly referred to ourselves as a bunch of DINKS* and rolled our eyes at parents who always showed up late.
After a couple years of wedded bliss we thought it was in order to try for a baby. Friends were getting pregnant all over the place. Babies were being born and celebrated. It was our turn! First came a pregnancy loss # 1 at 12 weeks and then pregnancy loss # 2 followed down the road. The second loss got me into googling all the reasons why I obviously had a medical issue and would never be able to carry a healthy baby to term. It got to the point that my computer savvy husband was just about to block all blogs, websites and articles from my computer that dealt with this exact topic. I have a known tendency to not think logically and be consumed with worry.
We decided to get healthy and travel instead of working on a baby. We had plans to travel through Europe. Eating and drinking our merry way through France, Italy, England and Amsterdam. It sounded like the ultimate distraction and holiday. Who needs a baby anyways! I would have vino and Tuscan meatballs!!
Then came our surprise accident. After I spent an evening at a girlfriends ‘ladies only party’ and did some friendly purchasing (you know to support her and all) I went home to my husband and surprised him with the goods I purchased. Nothing too crazy y’all! A few weeks after this I started to think something was up in the pregnancy department.
Since I had been let down twice before I decided to play it safe and use DENIAL as my coping mechanism. I denied my way though most of the first trimester. Never once peed on a stick or told anyone that there might pregnancy #3 happening. I decided to just eat healthy, take my prenatal vitamins and wait in denial. Around the end of the 12th week of this potential pregnancy I used an at home doppler to ‘try’ and see if there was a little heart beat to be found. There was. 153 beats per minute of baby goodness. The furthest I had ever been in a pregnancy was this moment and I loved it.
We still travelled Europe that spring. Pregnant and all. It was just slightly different than previously planned. No consumption of delicious Italian vino and extra consumption of Tuscan meatballs on my part. Oh yeah! Baby Ben was born early on a Monday morning in September 2008. He came out crying loudly and never stopped. I will most certainly do a post on fussy babies/high needs babies/colic.
So, we have traded in the fancy fine dining and regular nights out in the city for now. We have become a different type of family. A family of 3 that includes one member who cries loudly and demands cheerios.
(* DINKS= Double Income No Kids)