Mama in the City

Four years ago it was 2005 but only just for a few more days. We had just celebrated Christmas with the family and kept on going with the celebrations as our wedding day approached. It was a Friday and we had a smallish evening wedding with some great friends and family in Vancouver.



Of course the evening was flared with the usual wedding traditions but we were happy to put our own spin on things and truly enjoyed our wedding day. We focused on food, wine and good music and that trio turned out just right. The wedding colours were 'oh so' very 2005 but cranberry and silver seemed appropriate for a winter wedding. There was no ode to Christmas or holidays but we did take cues from winter.



I have fond sweet memories of our wedding day and four years later I still feel like a newlywed.

I don't remember most of last years holiday festivities or much of Christmas day and I definitely don't have any warm fuzzy memories of my baby's first Christmas. I was so stressed from having a fussy and constant crying infant that I didn't even put up a Christmas tree. Friends with older babies and children told me that the Christmastime was so special when shared with children but I couldn't wrap my head around that at the time. I was just trying to survive that moment, that day and that month.

Last Christmas Ben cried and cried and we wore him in a Bjorn carrier or our Gorgeous Baby sling. We mixed and mingled with the family while standing and swaying with our boy. Our bodies were painful from major sleep deprivation and late evening dance marathons to lull our babe into a slumber. It was tough and stressful and I am so glad for THIS holiday season 2009.

So far this has been a fabulous holiday season and I have dug right into all the fun things that Christmastime can bring. I have not felt stressed or over done and have enjoyed so many sweet moments with my family. Ben had his little friend Brooke over for a Christmas play date and a present exchange. They seemed to get the idea pretty fast and it was sweet to see these two tots together.

I am really digging the age Ben is at and he has been in such a playful mood lately. I think the sleeping through the night business has helped put everyone in a better mood.





Ben received a retro Fisher Price telephone for Christmas from one of my sweet girlfriends. He seemed to know what to do with it right away, despite the fact that the rotary dial phone will soon be like the record player. Obsolete but sort of cool to have.








Apparently when mum goes off to work the boy gets away with a little bit more. Say, like dancing on the couch in your diaper while your dad takes pictures. Busting a move diaper style!

Can you guess what I did today? Here are five things that I happened to say (more than once) in the last 14 hours:

1) I'm sorry to say but it does get more painful.
2 Is it tea time?
3) I need new shoes, my feet are killing me.
4) No! It is totally normal!
5) That's the head.

Go ahead and take a guess. What did you do today?

Since becoming a parent I have really started to understand the magic and excitement that children experience this time of year. I see my boys eyes light up with the jingle of a bell or the shine of an ornament hanging on our Christmas tree. I've realized that the holiday season becomes so much more special when shared with children.

The one thing that I did not want to overdo while celebrating Christmas with Ben was the presents. Sure, I want him to have some nice presents to rip into but I totally get the fact that at the age of one, quantity means nothing. So, I chose quality and only a few of these items at the same time. I hope to continue this as my boy grows and have no plans to gift him with overly expensive and outrageous presents.

So, this year wrapped up under the tree waiting for Ben are a few eco friendly toys. A dump truck made out of recycled milk jugs by Green Toys will be ready for Ben to load up and vroom vroom around the room.



He will also find this Ecotronic Eco Phone tied up with a colourful ribbon. This toy comes with minimal packaging and no excess box or ties. We won't be hunting for batteries either because it recharges when you shake it. Very cool idea and perfect for Ben.



I am also having a fun time coming up with little presents for Ben's stocking. He might find some toddler spoons and other items that he actually needs but I'm sure he will think they are fun just the same. So, whats under YOUR Christmas tree this year? Are you going all out or being more thrifty and conservative this year?

I knew that lack of sleep would be something that naturally came along with having a baby but I guess I thought that once we got through the infant stage my boy would sleep. Sleep well for naps, sleep all night long. I heard these sleep stories from my girlfriends and thought that this was the normal progression. Their baby slept and they told me about it. Their baby slept through the night at 6 weeks or 3 months.





What I did not realize is that parents of babies who DO NOT sleep just do not discuss it as much. The parents of babies who sleep well and sleep through the night DO talk about it. Sure you hear about the sleep deprived parents but you don't think that it could be an actual standard in early parenthood.



You can't help but compare your baby to those sleeping babies and feel like maybe you are the problem. I would feel like I was doing something wrong with raising my child. I didn't think it could possibly be the developing brain or a child's unique temperament or the fact that some babies require 24/7 parenting. It must be something that I was doing wrong.

Ben was like clock work, he would sleep 45 minute max during the day. If he squeezed out an hour my husband and I would dance and feel like we won a huge prize. If he slept 4 hours in a row over night we continued our dancing and would pump our fists in the air in victory. Sometimes Ben would wake every 2 hours over night and cry out with an escalating cry...and sometimes more.





We read so many sleep books and listened to many parents give us a slew of mixed sleep advice. We learned that not all babies soothe easily and that was a huge light bulb moment for me as a mother. Ben was also that boy who woke up at 5 AM and was ready to play and eat. So, up we rolled out of bed after catching a few hours of sleep and started the day.

The past 14 months we have had our system for sleep and dealing with lack of sleep. After he stopped nursing at night around 8 months, one parent would be on call and the other sleeps through the night. The parent on call over night would get a nap whenever they needed it during the afternoon. My husband took a lot of night shifts and was so incredibly helpful and supportive.



Ben would need gentle parenting back to sleep when he woke through the night. We would hear him cry and he would quickly become hysterical and escalate. A soft touch on his back or a 'shhh' would calm him and let him fall back to sleep. Sometimes it took us 5 minutes and sometimes 30 minutes. We didn't pick him up or play with him but encouraged him to relax and fall back to sleep. We were also consistent each time with our soothing and sleep settling. Even sometimes after 30 minutes you would silently walk out and if the bones in your feet cracked his little head would shoot up and he would start howling all over again.

After 14 months something magical happened in our house. After a full 14 months of fitful sleep and night time wakings our boy slept and he slept all through the night. 12-13 hours. He didn't cry out and he welcomed laying down in his crib. He naps for 2-3 hours in the afternoon instead of his 45 minute sleep cycle. We silently counted each night that he did this.... 3 nights, 8 nights, 10 nights...this isn't a fluke! Our boy is sleeping through the night. I am still counting though.... 14 nights...15 nights...16 and more!!!

Nothing changed on the part of our parenting style. We had been helping him learn to sleep for 14 months and one day he got it. I can't really express how amazing it feels to have a boy who sleeps through the night. I have a little burst of happiness when 8 AM rolls by and he is still sleeping.

I have written about Ben's sleep HERE and HERE. Any parent going through this deserves a large cup of coffee and a cheer.


PS. A fancy expensive swing or vibrating baby chair will not help a non sleeping baby sleep.
PPS. We were always so happy when Ben would sleep that we kept a close photo documentation of each wink of sleep ;)

I don't mind that much about having to work night shifts. However, no matter how long I have been working nights (since 2001!) I still get a sense of dread just as I walk out the door on my way to work. Thoughts run through my head like, 'this is going to be a long night' or ' Crap! I am already tired'. By the time I get to the bright busy unit I usually can drop all those feelings off and just get into the pace of the labor and delivery unit.

Since returning back to work this past October I feel like I slid right back into doing night shifts. All 12.25 hours of that long and unpredictably busy night shift. Nothing strains your health and body quite like running around helping babies birth at 4 AM. Even though you are sharing in the birth of a baby, 4 AM will always suck. Tiredness creeps up on you and hits you with full force at 4 AM.



It turns out that 4 AM is this grey space of time when you work all night. It is not yet the morning but not really night time anymore. It is an hour that, once passes, transfers a night shift into morning and morning means I am almost finished. Somehow the hour of 4 o'clock passes more painfully and slower than any other hour of the night.

Once I push through that tight squeeze of 0400h and I see the 5 shining bright on the hospital wall clock I feel a sense of glee and hope. Almost finished! Time for me to rest and recover and enjoy laying still in the bed sheets. I will be seeing the next two 4 AM's to come.

Over the past few weeks downtown Vancouver has slowly become more and more 'Olympic like'. My old favourite downtown parking spots have been closed and recruited for special Olympic events. Areas that I used to walk through now have fences built up to mark off private Olympic parking or events.

The last change I learned the hard way and ended up walking a distance through the large open area while pushing Ben in his stroller. This was a place we walk a lot and I ended up learning that the whole area had, in fact, been completely fenced and the only way to get out was to walk back to the original and only opening.



I have had mixed feelings about Vancouver hosting the Olympics and never felt 100% dedicated towards the big event. However, it is literally in my backyard and I have decided that it might just be easier to go with the flow and see what will come out of all the changes going on. In fact, tonight when we got home we could hear the nightly choir practice going on as people warm up their pipes for the opening games.

As the time creeps up and the date of Vancouver hosting the 2010 games gets closer you will probably read more about it from me and you can bet that there will be some interesting photography, compliments of my husband of course! I am curious how it will be to work at the hospital during the Olympics and so very thankful I don't have to drive to get to work.

Are you looking forward to Vancouver hosting the 2010 Olympics? Are you against it or did you hop on the band wagon after all? No matter your stance the Olympics are coming very shortly.

I don't do a lot of baking in our house, which would make sense since I have a pancreas that doesn't do its job. However, this year I signed up for a cookie exchange with some of the nurses and doctors at work and my husband is very excited about all the treats that I will be bringing home shortly.
We have to make 88 pieces of something homemade for the 12 people that are involved in the cookie exchange. I decided to befriend Martha Stewart and her recipe suggestions for holiday baked goods and so I baked a copious amount of chocolate hazelnut and cranberry biscotti.

The recipe is pretty simple and doesn't require fancy ingredients. I decided to be a savvy baker and added cranberries and swapped out pistachios for hazelnuts. My only addition to this recipe is to soak the cranberries in hot water for 15 minutes before you add them to your mixture. The ingredient list is as follows:

Makes 44
2 cups all-purpose flour (spooned and leveled)
1 cup sugar
1 1/2 teaspoons baking powder
1/4 teaspoon salt
3/4 cup hazelnut or any other whole nut like almonds or peanuts
4 ounces dark chocolate, chopped
3-4 ounces of cranberries (pre soaked in boiled water to make them soft)
3 large eggs
2 tablespoons unsalted butter, melted
1 teaspoon pure vanilla extract
1/4 cup unsweetened cocoa powder




You can find this recipe on the Martha Stewart website by clicking HERE.

*photo compliments of my loving husband (after a bit of badgering and bribes with biscotti)*

With all the hand washing that I do at the hospital, plus the cold dry weather outside, I have noticed the need for some major hand lotion therapy. The combination of the two offenses on my skin is leaving it need of some serious repair and it is only the start of our winter season! One of my top picks for battling this winter skin condition is Kiel's Ultimate Strength Hand Salve. It is thick and moisturizes like there is no tomorrow. Plus there is no excess grease or gunk left on top of your skin. I have been using this product for about two years now and it is always a 'must' this time of the year.



I am currently searching high and low for the very best moisturizing bath product that is out there. It doesn't have to be fancy but it must be therapeutic. I always add products to the bath water but right now delicious smelling bubbles are just not cutting it. I need some skin therapy that also smells good! Do you have any suggestions for me? A favorite bath product that maybe foams up but also leaves your skin soft? Let me know pronto!

I had a sweet curious reader email me asking me this question, 'where does a child in the city go and play?'. This reader lives somewhere in the burbs and in her neighbourhood there are many possibilities for children to have play time out in the fresh air. So, she was curious if Ben had the same opportunities being the apartment baby that he is.

Well, we do have the same options right here in the heart of the city! Among the city streets and the cement buildings there are; elementary schools, high schools, community centers, corner stores (where the owner recognizes you and gives you a cheery wave) and lots and lots of parks and playgrounds. The difference that I can come up with is that in the city we walk everywhere and car hopping is not part of our daily life.







Today Ben and his dad went out to our big backyard to play. You know, the big backyard that is actually the two playgrounds right behind our apartment. From our apartment window we can see a huge green space and a playground. So, the two of them got all bundled up for the cold clear sunny day and went out for a fun time of playing and swinging at the park. Even though we are city dwellers we have more than enough opportunities to have fun with outside playtime. Oodles of ideas and places to go that we venture to daily. This is one part of raising a family in the city that I really love.

My boy Ben is almost 15 months young and toddlin' along. He likes to eat cheese and drink milk.


He loves giving the dog treats and their relationship is almost completely based on this.


Ben likes music and grooves to any beat he hears.


I still call him 'baby' but realize he is more of a boy.