Mama in the City

Part of our daily routine includes going out to the park. Sometimes it is just once a day and if it is gorgeous outside it might be up to three times a day. It is a great way to spend a day and we love being outside.

Being an apartment baby it is just a ride down the elevator, a walk across the lobby and within a few steps we are at our first playground. We don't usually bring the stroller with us and our walk to get there is paced with stops to look at a leaf on the sidewalk or the purple flowers growing outside of the apartment or maybe even someones old cigarette butt.







I see the park! There it is!



Walk a little bit more and we are already at the next park just around the corner.





The next day comes and we the same thing over again.

I have a friend who just gave birth to twins! Hooray! Thinking about having newborns in the house reminded me about the painful sleep deprivation that we experienced the first 14 months with Ben. PAINFUL. Now we are having 12-13 hours of solid blissful toddler sleep and it is almost hard to remember the pain that sleep deprivation created. There is a survival mode that you enter just to make it through each day and this is okay!

How can you survive sleeplessness with a baby to parent and a life to live? All I really know is that you will find out that you actually can exist on a lot less sleep than you think. I used to be, and am again, a person who needs 9 hours of sleep at night in order to feel really really good. I function my best when I get 9 hours but can totally be okay on 7 hours.




When Ben was a baby I was waking up every 1-3 hours every night for 10 months. After Ben stopped nursing at night my husband did 90% of the night time parenting. I have written about sleep before because the lack of it was traumatic for me! I knew that having a baby meant less sleep but I didn't really fully understand until I was right in the middle of it. A good girlfriend recently told me that she couldn't tell I was sleep deprived during Ben's first year. Either she is just being a very good girlfriend or I hid it semi well.

How To Survive Daily Life With Lack Of Sleep

1. Have a shower! Even if you feel like a big pile of crap from being up all night get in the shower. Even if you have to take your babies and put them in a bouncy chair as they scream bloody murder, have a shower. A 3 minute shower will make a world of difference and you will have clean hair.

2. Get dressed! I know you will feel like staying in your pajamas all day and all night but it will make you feel gross at the end of the day. Getting dressed signals that you have a day and you have a night. If you can accomplish these two things you are doing amazing.

3. Go outside! I would mostly end up wearing Ben in a sling to go outside. Most of the time I did not want to leave the apartment but it ensured that I got dressed. It would usually be a very short outing because I did not have any physical energy to actually walk more than a couple of blocks but it made me feel like I had accomplished something.

4. Coffee is your new best friend! I didn't drink coffee while pregnant but I did drink one delicious latte a day when Ben was a baby. A large latte that is. My daily coffee run made me get a shower, get dressed and get outside! Around 3 PM every day I would go out and walk to the closest coffee shop. Pick up my latte, wave to all the regulars that got to know me and would sip the delicious hot coffee. I would not have been able to survive the sleep deprivation without this daily fix. If you did, you are freaking amazing!

5. Realize that the things you are giving up right now are going to be (mostly) temporary. I had to give up seeing some friends, keeping in touch, returning phone calls and a lot of my old life but this allowed me to survive! Sleep deprivation can make you terribly foggy and slow. Let's hope you have understanding friends who won't take it personally and maybe even kinder friends who drop off food and muffins and....bring you a coffee! See how I worked that in there.

6. Under eye make up will become your second best friend. Lack of sleep always adds up. Your body wants you to sleep and wants you to have REM cycles but sometimes there is a wailing demanding infant that gets first priority. I invested in some great touche eclat from Yves St. Laurent.

7. Generally most people won't really care about your lack of sleep. People will be like, 'Oh I've been there, I've done that!' and lack complete sympathy for you. My sister once gave me a good pointer not to complain about your lack of sleep too often. Either this was a very kind pointer or a suggestion to shut up. Either way it is a good one. I know that when you are tired all you will be thinking about is how tired you are and how you haven't slept more than 3 hours in a row, realize that reporting this frequently might not be the best thing.

8. Recruit your family! When Ben was breastfeeding I did all the night shifts and night wakings and day wakings all around. My husband would give me chances to nap and my youngest sister would come by and take care of Ben and let me snooze. A 1 hour snooze will make you feel like you can conquer the world!

9. Don't pay attention to those people in your life who like to constantly remind you how their babies slept through the night at 7 days old. Start tuning them out as soon as you hear them bragging. Alternately, if your baby was an awesome sleeper don't be bragging to people with big circles under their eyes. Your stories are not appreciated. This is the truth.

10. Snooze when you can. This is old news but some times it is hard to do. If your babies are sleeping you will want to do 101 things (like write blog posts) but don't, sleep when you can! A snooze on the couch can really make you feel like a million bucks.



Of course I know sleep deprivation from motherhood but also from being a shift worker. I know the pain of being awake all night and just wanting to go to sleep. The other night was so busy and I did not rest at work at all. Most of the time I will snooze on my break but this night shift there was no snoozing. Of course I felt like falling asleep at 0400 but there was no option to do that. It is amazing how little sleep you can go on and how you just have to push yourself though.

Do you have any tips to add to the list? How do you survive lack of sleep? Please tell!!

This morning I finished my set of shifts in Labor and Delivery and am now looking forward to a chunk of days off with my family. I attended some wonderful births, did a lot of breastfeeding support and met a lot of really cool people.

Working in the hospital you get to meet a real variety of people. I was lucky because on this set of shifts I met some families that I really clicked with. People that I might have befriended if we met at a gathering or a parents group, something like that.



The thing is, I am tired! Luckily Ben was in a great mood and I was able to laze around post night shift and be rather low key. We read books and played on the floor and I had a bubble bath. In fact, I am still in my pajamas and I plan to head to bed pretty soon. It's exciting times I tell ya!

It has been exceptionally beautiful in Vancouver lately. I say exceptionally because it is February after all and in the past I have seen snow this time of year. Today the sun is out and there is a blue sky and a feeling of spring everywhere. There are blossoms on the cherry blossom trees and I can see the yellow heads of daffodils poking out of the ground.

Spring and summer are my all time favorite seasons to live in this west coast city. During the peak spring and summer months we don't really have a good reason to leave Vancouver. This is the place to be! There is beauty all over and this west coast city becomes so livable. I put up with the rain and the grey just for this!



I love the contentment that comes with walking the seawall and the sun is shining. Even if I am having a disappointing day or my head is clouded with worries or heavy thoughts, I can momentarily leave it behind as I enjoy the moment. You know that moment right? The heat of the sun on your back and the cool breeze from the water on your face. The stillness that surrounds you, even if it is just for a moment, lets you really take in the feeling. This is life!

Congratulations to Andrea Jensen! Winner of the Purl Mama & Baby giveaway! She was entry #6 and picked by www.random.org. Andrea, email me your mailing address to mama@apartmentbaby.com and your gift will be sent. You have one week to claim your gift before we move on to a second draw.



Purl Mama & Baby is also giving all readers a 15% exclusive discount at checkout with the code "citymama" for all in stock items. Happy shopping! The discount is good through to the end of February!

*Update on my fashion rut*

This morning I decided to give my closet a total over haul and have since sorted through the mass of clothing in my closet, my dresser and my under bed storage. Now, I have less items taking up space and also a huge bag of clothing to donate. Which obviously leaves me in need of some shopping to replenish the stuff I took out. Right?

I've come to the conclusion that my fashion rut is based around foot ware options and since I've been living in the season of closed toed shoes I have had a few issues. I long for my slip on cute flats or my flip flops or some sweet ass sandals. I want to forget the boots and the clunky shoes and rubber boots and stash them away! I want spring to come and let me unleash my closet full of cute flats! Maybe that will be my inspiration?! I am feeling most certain of it! It seems that with cute shoes comes cute outer wear and with that comes pulled together outfits. Fashion rut solved. Let's hope! Seriously, because I can't be wearing the 'mum jean' or the round toe clunky shoe.

In the next 24 hours I will be having dinner out with a girlfriend and a 60 minute massage too. These are two of my very favorite things and always put me in a good mood. It is gorgeous and sunny out and I am roasting almonds in the oven and they smell divine. My boy is sleeping in his crib and when he wakes up he will surely make me laugh and smile with his silly dances and love of playing peek-a-boo. I am loving his toddlerhood so very much.

I am in a rut right now. That zone of feeling not so fashionable and overall quite uninspired. Before I became a mum I regularly took my fashion sense and pay check to different shops and splurged on different pieces. Putting together outfits and mixing and matching accessories to help create 'looks'. I used to put great effort into my wardrobe and will even confess to paying $300+ for a one of a kind belt while on a shopping spree in Toronto.

Back when my husband and I were dating my sweet mother in law gave me the heads up that I was over dressed for the outing we had planned. If I can remember, back to 2001, I think I had on a black skirt and a top with some sandals but I was still over dressed for the crowd, not that I minded too much. I've always liked to look put together and current and I just like to feel good about myself. Dressing nicely makes me feel good about myself.

When I got pregnant I still spent a ridiculous amount of money on maternity clothing from brands like Ripe and Zara Mum. That $300 belt had to be put away because it didn't work with my growing belly but there were enough cool pieces on line or in the shops to keep me looking fantastic through out my pregnancy.

Once my baby came I kept putting off buying nice pieces of clothing because I was breastfeeding (and leaking!). I became a jeans and t shirt kind of girl and that was just fine. I was the Gap's #1 spokesperson and found tops that stretched nicely for nursing my baby and jeans that sucked in my post partum tummy.

It didn't really matter what I looked like because Ben was usually in a sling across my body. In my head I kept on thinking that I would loose that last 8 lbs of pregnancy weight and so I held off on buying anything really nice. The weight was just another reason not to indulge on any real clothing budget and I continued my 'stuck in a rut' feeling but just sort of dealt with it.

The thing is, my child is now almost 1.5 years old and I have not been nursing for almost 6 months. Yet, my closet is still on hold and I am starting to feel more than just stuck. I am terrified of wearing 'mom jeans' or getting a 'mom haircut' and giving up all together on wanting to look and feel a certain way. I don't need to spend bucks of cash on fancy name brand designer cuts but I do want to feel good!

I'm not sure how to change this current state of mind and get out of my fashion rut. I think that I just need the time to peruse and try on items without Ben wandering around the tiny change room while I try to get in and out of jeans. Of course the loss of the 8 lbs would help and a little extra cash would also do the trick.

How can I get out of my fashion rut and start feeling like my old fashionista self? I'm not even talking about high end runway fashion. I just want to get kick started on my daily wardrobe! What tricks do you have up your sleeve to make yourself feel good?

To start get started here is '10 Easy Ways to Update Your Spring Wardrobe' from In Style magazine or 'The Instant Gratification' from J Crew.

PS. Don't forget to check out the post underneath to enter a fun giveaway contest. Contest closes Friday at 8 AM!

I am so excited to once again be paired up with the online boutique Purl Mama & Baby for another giveaway! I am seriously excited for all of you readers to get the opportunity to win a fun gift from my favorite online boutique. I've picked out a few of my favourite meal themed items to help keep your baby and toddlers happy during meal time and looking stylish.

One lucky reader will win all three of these items!

A Modern Baby Co bib in your choice of either orange or pink burst!



A Boon catch all bowl to help keep your applesauce or sweet potatoes inside the bowl! Plus it has a suction cup base.


A set of Boon Benders that are great for first time eaters or even those more experienced toddlers too! Ben has this exact set and it fits perfectly in his toddler hands.


Now how to enter and potentially win!

1.Go over to Purl Mama and Baby website and pick out YOUR favorite item. A soft nightgown for a newborn? Handy bottle holders for when you are on the go?
2.Come back over here and post your pick in the comment section. One comment per person please.
3.Contest closes on Friday February 19th at 8 AM and a winner will randomly be drawn.
4.Contest is open for ALL Canadian and US residents and shipping is included compliments of Purl Mama & Baby.

Have fun!

Ben has been going through a big growth spurt this past week and has tucked into everything food related with great gusto. He most loves eating plates of spaghetti and bananas.

Ben is now 17 months and has almost all of his baby teeth.



He walks and runs and has a serious love for dancing to music.



He is a sweet and loving toddler and I am finding this stage to be my favorite versus his sleep deprived babyhood.



Ack! This boy! I love him so much.

On November 30, 2009 a sweet baby girl was born to new mama Kristine! A first time mum, Kristine had a long labor and went on to deliver a healthy baby girl named Cora. This is a moment she will never forget! Her and her husband took home their beautiful babe and enjoyed their little newborn. The following is an excerpt from Kristine's story:

"Cora died in my arms suddenly and unexpectedly while breastfeeding December 6. She was only five days old and was born November 30 just a few days before her December 4 due date. One moment I looked down and saw her peaceful face growing sleepy from breast milk. A matter of seconds later, and I looked down to a limp, pale baby, face covered in blood, with no movement. I screamed, jumped up and realized she wasn't breathing".




How does a healthy term baby go from being well one moment to unexpectedly dying in her mothers arms the next? What key assessments were missed that might have helped diagnose and detect that something was wrong with Cora?

What Kristine didn't know was that baby Cora had Congenital Heart Disease. For Cora this was a completely undiagnosed, undetected heart condition that could have been potentially prevented. No one knew that Cora had CHD and no one screened her during any of the newborn assessments. Cora looked perfectly well and there are no mandatory routine guidelines around assessments to rule out CHD.

Here is what Kristine has to say on CHD and Cora:

"Through Cora, I've learned more about congenital heart diseases or CHDs and focus on sharing her story to raise awareness of CHDs, which is the number one birth defect."

Her goal is to, "... work together to make sure all babies get screened, raise money for more research to save more little ones, and support the hundreds of thousands of children and adults living with CHD".

Some interesting facts about CHD:

*According to the Children's Heart Foundation nearly 1 in every 100 babies born is effected by CHD. Making it Amercia's #1 birth defect.

*Simple non invasive pulse oximetry may help to detect low oxygen levels indicating complications of CHD. There are some pediatricians who do pulse oximetry on all newborns in their office visits but this is the minority for now.

*1 in 3 children who die from a congenital birth defect have CHD.

The more awareness about CHD means that more babies will potentially be screened and ultimately diagnosed and treated for CHD. So, this post is in support of CHD week and of course in celebration of baby Cora. Now you know about both CHD and Cora! Go and check out what Kristine is doing to raise awareness over at her blog or follow her on twitter. She is a true mother!

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There is a lot of talk amongst the mom breastfeeding blogging community about factors that interfere with successful breastfeeding. They call these booby traps and they have added the hospital setting as one of the reasons breastfeeding is not successful for some women. Does giving birth inside a hospital dictate your overall success with breastfeeding or is it the culture that we live in that is the real boobytrap?

I had to think about that one for a minute but not before I got defensive and angry. I work inside a hospital with women giving birth and I help teach breastfeeding too. If I was to be your nurse I am passionate and caring and understanding around breastfeeding. I also work with some amazing nurses who feel the same way as I do. We often talk about breastfeeding at work and the challenges around it and trouble shoot with each other when we encounter different issues.

The argument from the pro breastfeeding community, or lactivists as they call themselves, is that hospitals births and post partum care is not really breastfeeding friendly. Meaning, the people who care for the post partum families are more likely to offer an artificial nipple or a bottle filled with formula than help and educate and promote breastfeeding. Of course I can be honest and say that I do see this. I do see pediatricians and nurses alike thinking they are being helpful to the tired overwhelmed new mother by giving the baby just a 'wee bit' of formula or a pacifier before breastfeeding is established. However, you are more likely to meet someone more like me than not. We truly want YOU to love breastfeeding! We want your baby to latch on and feed like a champ! We want you to have oodles of milk!

My stance on this hot topic is this: mothers need to take the time to educate and surround themselves with positive breastfeeding information BEFORE they give birth. So much prep is done for the babies birth or for their gorgeous little nurseries but how much time is spent learning about breastfeeding by watching videos or reading books or just talking to other breastfeeding mothers? From my practice I know that it does not even compare.

I can spot a new mother who is passionate about breastfeeding from a mile away. She has read books and has knowledge around what is normal and what is to be expected with breastfeeding. I can also spot the exact opposite person from even further away. In my professional practice it seems that more times than not a new mom really has no information about what to expect with breastfeeding during the early days. Now, ask her about what outfit the baby will wear home and you've got yourself a conversation!

Of course this is not about putting blame on anyone! I don't roll that way and I truly want mothers to have positive breastfeeding experiences because I believe in it so very much. So, what can a mama to be do to help prepare herself to have a positive breastfeeding relationship? Here are my thoughts:

1. Make the decision to be dedicated to breastfeeding. Knowing that it might be difficult at first but it will get so much more easier.
2. Buy a breastfeeding book or peruse some on line sites that are pro breastfeeding. Some good sites that I recommend are: Dr. Jack Newman's awesome breastfeeding website.
The La Leche Leauge is also a great resource and a group can be found within your community. Click here to go and learn something about breastfeeding.
3.No matter what type of birth you have advocate that you want to do skin to skin right after your birth. Do skin to skin as much as you can. With the baby naked and laying right over your breasts. There many many amazing benefits for you and your baby by doing one hour of skin to skin right after birth. Go and see what The Canadian Breastfeeding Foundation has to tell you about this.
4. If you have to be separated from your baby for a medical reason start stimulating your breasts ASAP. Use hand expression to to help stimulate your milk production.
5.Know that there is not just one way to breastfeed. Every breast, nipple, baby is different and there is 101 different pieces of advice out there. Some of it will work for you and some will not. Try to go with the flow and keep the basic principles in focus. A good latch is where it is at!

Breastfeeding can be challenging and it can take patience and dedication and focus. Have you encountered any boobytraps when you breastfed?

Check out some of my past posts about breastfeeding:
Breastfeeding in Public: Six Tips To Help You Feel Totally Awesome
Behind the times: The Breastfeeding Veil In North America
Oh The Mammaries! Tales Of Engorgement During World Breastfeeding Week

Go to my husbands blog and see some amazing black and white photography of babies doing skin to skin after birth in the hospital. He is working on a project with the hospital that promotes skin to skin and breastfeeding. We are a PRO breastfeeding family all around!

I am feeling quite reflective today and it might be because Ben is getting to be a full fledged toddler and I realize that his baby days are behind him. Sure he still is in diapers and needs lots of attention but it isn't the same. Last year at this time Ben still was a very high needs baby and I was a tired busy mum. I remember celebrating with my husband the fact that we went out to Wendy's for lunch and survived. That was our success at the time even though we got indigestion for eating at warp speed while bouncing Ben on our laps.

Here is Ben February 2009








and here he is February 2010

If I was to be honest with myself then it would be to true that there are many moments where I am not truly grateful for what I have. It is not intentional or malicious but just a result of getting caught up in the moment. Feeling stressed and stretched with being a working mother can do that to you or just being a person can do this to you. Probably all of us have been in the same spot at some time or another.

Five things that are making me feel thankful, content, grateful right now:

1.Having a lunch date with old friends and their children,albeit chaotic and loud but totally worth it.
2.Figuring out how to drive in and out of the 'secure Olympic zone' downtown .
3.A husband who woke up with the boy this morning and let me sleep in for an extra little bit.
4.The major belly laughs from Ben when I dance to Beyonce's 'Single Ladies'.
5.A good hair day.

So, join me and take this moment to feel grateful for what you have. What are you grateful for?