30 Weeks And Already Worrying About Life After Pregnancy0
My family tree is really more of a small squat bush without too many extra branches. I come from a family of five with no aunts and uncles and subsequently no first cousins. Of course, growing up we had a plethora of ‘fake’ aunts and uncles but my actual family is kind of small and limited. Right now the closest family member is a good hour drive away and that is about it for my side. Now, my husband has A LOT of family but they all live in a different country and we don’t see them on a regular basis.
This didn’t really phase me much when we had our first child but with the upcoming birth of baby #2 I am really starting to realize that we are all on our own over here in the city. At work I get to see lots of large families who pile in after the birth with food platters and celebration and cheer. Sometimes the amount of family borders on pure ridiculousness and I hear new grandmothers arguing over who gets to help out the most in the early days.
I totally know the realistic downside of having a huge family along next to you every moment of the way with a baby. The headaches it can cause and the fact that quiet time doesn’t seem to come easily. But the food! Food is everywhere and prepared and dropped off for you!
My biggest concern this time around is who I can call up at 2 AM if I go into labour. Especially as second babies are notorious for shooting themselves into this world at lightening speed, I want to know who will be zipping over to take care of our boy Ben while we are busy having baby #2? I think that I am going to have to ply some good friends with promises of good chocolate and bottles of wine. Side note: crazy to think that last time I had a baby 6 weeks from now!
0158 AM: Hi, It’s Andrea. WHOA! I’m in labour! Come over RIGHT NOW!
I’m also starting to worry about how overwhelming it will be for me in the first few days and weeks with a newborn and Ben all on our own in our apartment. I’m sure the take out and food delivery will be at an all time high and the apartment will be in a glorious state of constant disaster.
Back when Ben was born, my husband was able to take a heap of time off from work but that’s not an option these days, instead the guy is working ridiculous amounts of hours. Last time my older sister came over with her 1 year old and stayed for a few nights after we got home from the hospital.
She fetched me lunch and drinks galore while I learned how to breastfeed and battled through engorgement. She changed my bed sheets and kept the kitchen clean and tidy. It was bliss! But times have changes and it isn’t as feasible for that to happen this time around. Realistically I know it will be me, Ben and baby in the apartment recovering from pregnancy and birth and figuring out breastfeeding a newborn again. It’s those early days and first two weeks that make me a little nervous.
So, if this sounds just like your own scenario please give me your tips! How did you cope and thrive when you didn’t have nearby family support when expanding your own family? I’ve met a lot of amazing women in my 6 years as a perinatal RN, so I know that it is possible. However, I want to be able to enjoy the early moments without feeling flustered and fussed about being on my own. I also want to love my husband and not be giving him the evil eye as he works a 10 hour day and the dishes in the kitchen pile up to make a new wall.