Feeling The Guilt: Sweet Moments With My Boy0
I’m really slowing down these days and am feeling somewhat disappointed with myself. I know! I know! I’m really pregnant I should be slowing down, but I still find it hard. I envisioned this time off from work, before the baby came, as endless chances to do fun outings and meet up with girlfriends and just get stuff done. The truth is, I just want to lay on the couch.
This leaves me with this constant mind tackle where I plan an event or an outing, but when the time comes for me to bend over and put my shoes on I’d really just rather stay at home. Considering I used to be so active and always had daily field trips with Ben, I’m taking this change of pace a bit hard.
I’m nearing 35 weeks and the baby is quite low and a good size. So, my ability to keep up with my usual walks around the city has been greatly compromised (err…lots of pressure!). Taxi drivers are scared to pick me up and one was worried I was going to give birth in his cab and was taking the corners extra slow. I wasn’t even huffing and puffing, I just have a generous sized belly.
Today I mustered up some energy to get out with Ben, mainly because I was feeling guilty for letting him watch ‘just 1 more TV show’ as I lazed on the couch. It took all my energy to walk the half a dozen city blocks and up a steep hill but I did it and we got to the good coffee shop! Once we were sitting and sipping our drinks I wasn’t sure if I’d be able to make it back home. So, we sat a bit longer and then I pushed myself to take Ben up the street to one of his favourite playgrounds. I keep wondering if this might be our last chance at spending this time together.
I want to really cherish these last weeks with just being a mum to Ben and being able to give him all the attention he wants. My problem is, I’d just rather do it from the couch!