Peeing On A Stick: When Should I Announce My Pregnancy? (Not Mine!)
If I am certain of anything it is that two lines on a pregnancy test does not mean you are are going to have a baby. This is my personal experience and also my professional experience working with child bearing women and pregnancy loss. I also know that some people choose to share their big news as soon as the pee hits the sick and others wait to announce the actual birth of a crying newborn. So, where do you fit in?
I can argue both sides of this and fall somewhere in between with how I’ve announced my own past pregnancies. With my first pregnancy, I miscarried at 12 weeks… just as I was about to announce the news publicly to all the eager ears. I had thought 12 weeks seemed like a typical traditional time and we were waiting for the ultrasound to confirm that this was good news to share. My second pregnancy wasn’t even out the door and I miscarried at 9 weeks; the only person who knew about this pregnancy, before the D+C, was my dear husband.
If you’ve been reading this blog for the last year you will know that I never had a pregnancy test when I was pregnant with Ben and I announced the news at 14 weeks after I had heard the BOOM BOOM of his heart beat on the Doppler a few weeks before. I had actually planned to wait until closer to 18 weeks to let the world know I was pregnant but the cat got out of the bag at work with my morning sickness. C’est la vie!
I also know that even if you keep your pregnancy secret for weeks and weeks and end up losing the baby you will still grieve and want people to acknowledge your loss. Back when my mum was starting a family, you didn’t even go to your doctor until you had missed at least 2 periods. There was no super amazing extra early pregnancy detection test and no early ultrasound at the first possible moment of your baby’s heart beating. You just sat back and waited those 8 weeks before they would even consider mentioning pregnancy. Sometimes your period was late and then you had a funny heavy period and that was it. My husband’s mom worked in a hospital laboratory back when they still had to kill a frog or a rabbit to perform a pregnancy test.
I think with future pregnancies I will be similar to the announcement I made with Ben. I might tell a few close friends and sisters later in the first trimester but would sit on the news until I felt comfortable and was outside of those first 12 weeks. Maybe I am old-fashioned… or just plain realistic about what pregnancy can mean but I do know that the announcement is always exciting for us mums. Either freshly at almost 4 weeks along or at 20 weeks or even further.
What did you do? When did you feel comfortable announcing your pregnancy to your world?