I found that adulthood changed the way friendship worked for me and for the most part it was for the better. Being an adult means you don’t need to keep friends around who drain you or those who create stress and havoc in your life. Back in my mid 20’s I purposefully ended two different friendships because they just created too much drama in my life and I didn’t feel valued. I’m sure that I didn’t end the relationship in the most graceful way but it did feel amazing to cut the ties of a bad relationship and move on.
As I move through my thirties I’ve learned that being an adult means you can have all sorts of friends in your life who each fill a different purpose. You’ve got the mama friend who totally gets your mama drama with the day to day life stress and strain. The single gal pal who keeps you current in the present but also connected to the past. The occasional friend who totally gets you and can make you laugh the instant you get together. The local friend who can swing by in a moments notice for a glass of impromptu wine or to bring Pepto and ginger ale when you’re sick. I don’t think I’ve ever been a woman to just have one exclusive BFF, I prefer to have many deep friendships that grow over the years.
A thing I love most about adult friendships is how time can pass without seeing each other, yet you can still be rock solid. I still remember that weird feeling of going back to high school after the summer break and feeling sort of awkward around friends I hadn’t seen for the last two months. Sometimes we could pick up where we left off but it wasn’t a guarantee and friendships fizzled.
Back when my two sisters were growing up we weren’t always friends and there are stories about the mega fighting we all did. It wasn’t until we were adults that we became friends and sisters. It’s a pretty amazing combo and I’m thankful for my sisters who so easily step in and mother my own children when I need a time out.
Over the years as I’ve become busier with my own family life and kid free time dwindles to sporadic hours here and there, I’ve learned to cherish good friendships on a different level. Back in December when we were told that something was wrong with the baby, I didn’t hesitate to quickly reach out to those friends that I knew would be helpful, supportive and who would help me through the insane amount of tears. As soon as we left the hospital post scary ultrasound I was texting the friends that I knew could carry me through.
I will never forget those dear friends that stopped what they were doing to surround me with their love and help me navigate through all of the emotions and uncertainty. It wasn’t just the huge gestures that I’ll remember but also ALL those little things that added up and are now forever pressed into my memory. As the weeks went by and we got bits and pieces of reassuring news about the baby, I felt so comforted in the strength of my friendships. Every person brought something just a little bit different to the situation and when it was all laid out, I was completely covered in support.
After having a big stress in our family and so much unknown over the last 2-3 months, I rea what real friendship truly feels like. My sincerest thanks goes to these women who helped keep my head above water when I felt like I was sinking. It was the friend who whisked my kids away for dinner when we arrived home post scary ultrasound. It was the friend who texted me repeatedly to ask how I was doing and remembered to check in after each doctors visit. It was the friend who took me out for dinner the night before my amnio to fill me with distraction and carbs. It was all of these amazing friends who I leaned upon when I felt so scared.
I never had to ask, they always just gave and for that I am so thankful. If I was drinking wine right now I’d be raising a big glass to those friends who showed me what friendship and sisterhood is all about. It feels so good to know that I have you as a friend.