Feeling The Shift: Changes In Motherhood
The last two years we’ve had a really good thing going in our daily life. I’d drop my oldest boy off at his school, get my middle girl to her preschool, located in a different spot downtown, and then spend a couple of hours with the littlest before we were back at preschool for pick up.
Every afternoon it was just us three girls spending time together. We’d hang out at the park, walk the seawall, head out to lunch at a restaurant or head to the beach. Really, we just had a lot of fun together and often got up to different city adventures. On days that I wasn’t working, or sleeping post night shift, we had this groove going. Now that the school year is coming to an end I’m starting to feel aware of all the changes coming our way.
I’m one of those people that doesn’t get too excited about change and I hardly ever seek it out on purpose. It takes me weeks to figure out how to move a piece of furniture or hang a photo on the wall because, ultimately, it would mean things will be different. I like routine and I like the same. However, at the same time I’m literally in awe of people who eagerly uproot their lives and move their family across the world or even those people who are constantly moving around furniture at home.
In a few days our school year will be over and we will get to spend a glorious two months together and I could not be more excited. When it comes time for back to school I will have two kids at the same school for the full day and the silly thing is, I’m already mourning the loss of having my middle girl hanging out with us all afternoon.
Don’t get me wrong, I’m so excited for this girl and her upcoming kindergarten milestone and she is so ready to go to school. I cannot wait to see her thrive and become a school kid. I’m just feeling the change and aware of the shift that is slowly happening. I’m so used to pushing the stroller around the city with my curly haired sidekick hanging on to the side chatting up a storm and telling jokes. It was these moments that have helped to shape my motherhood.
We have two days left of this familiar routine and we are actively cramming in all the girl time we can. All while I’m being totally ridiculous and mourning the loss of the routine we have had together for the last two years. Motherhood can be so humorous sometimes, you can be equally excited for new milestones for your children and at the exact same time be mourning the loss of what you had.