Mama in the City

People are always asking me how old Josie is and I usually give them a wrong number because I just haven't kept track of things like I did with my first baby. I wonder if that has something to do with the 'second child' syndrome people warned me about? For the longest time I would just say, 'she is 1!' but it turns out that mothers of other little ones like to be told xx months. So, I started to say how many months she was but I was always getting it wrong. I'd forget to add the next month and forever she was just 14 months...but not really. My sweet girl is 16.5 months old to be totally exact and she is in the transition stage from babyhood to toddlerhood.


Full of mischief she is.


Have you ever heard people say that a hard baby=easy toddler and an easy baby=hard toddler? It turns out that with Ben that was true and he was a total toddler delight. No meltdowns in public, no running off, no terrible 2's to be heard of. Josie was my 'easy baby' and sort of just fit in with our family without much trouble. I scoffed at people who had told me adjusting to the second baby was really hard, because for us that wasn't the case. Josie was a quiet baby and followed the text books for baby milestones as if they were written for her. Then the girl turned an official '1 year old' and she started to lose some of her babyness. She wanted more independence and wanted to be much like her older brother. Cue the screeching! The snatching! The hitting! Oh my.


What? Who me? I don't screech in the grocery store line up!





I admit to feeling a little sad that my baby days are nearing an end. Even with all the intensity and exhaustion I really truly just love the baby stage. Holding them close and feeling their tiny bum in your hand. Smooching their softness as they sleep on you. I could go on and on. I have to push myself to be excited for toddlerhood and remember how many positives comes along with each new stage. I'll be smiling through all the screeching in the grocery shop line up and the meltdowns when she has to return to sitting in her stroller.

On our way back home from Arizona I caught one of those 'airplane colds' that we all try to avoid. Since I'm still nursing Josie I was leery about turning to pharmaceuticals to help me make it through the day. Then I decided that my girl isn't a tiny baby anymore and doesn't need to nurse through the night to survive, so I sent my husband off to fetch some nighttime cold relief and the rest is history. Like zzzzzz good. Don't fret about Josie, she nursed in the morning and we lounged and cuddled in bed together for a long time.

I wish the reason I've been lounging in my bathrobe was because I was sipping wine in Kauai or enjoying some coffee in bed while visiting Whistler.








I'm lucky that my girl has a nap in the late morning and so I napped when she napped and spent the rest of the day in a sleepy sickly state parenting from the couch feeling sorry for myself. I'm also fortunate that my husband did the preschool drop off and kept the apartment tidy and clean while I blew my nose 5,460 times. He brought me drinks in bed and let me laze it out in the bath when I felt terrible. When it's just your immediate family around you really have to lean on each other during these moments.

The Good Old Days

I admit that I did envy my past single (kidless) ill self, sleeping through the day and whenever I felt tired. Maybe lazing on the couch and watching television and napping on and off. That is the best way to be sick really. There is no sugar coating, being sick when you have children sucks. Recovery is longer because you don't get the chance to properly rest and let your body do it's job of getting better. Your children don't get the memo that you are sick and still want to play and be silly and still expect meals and snacks.

Onwards!
From living those sleep deprived baby days and also from working shift work, I'd like to think that I know a thing or two about how to get more sleep. The secret is... drum roll please... going to bed early early early. Most parents do not get the chance to sleep in, however, we can go to bed early. Which is what I did last night when 9 PM came around and I was went to bed was out like a light before 9:30 PM. The trap is, no matter how tired you felt during the day, once the kids are sleeping you will often get a burst of energy and think it is wise to stay up for some alone/adult time. You have to fight this and just get into bed and you will thank your future self immensely.

I'm giving myself one more day to be sick and then I am done with it. Life goes on and it's creeping towards 10 PM and I need to get myself to bed. Just remember, the next time you fly bring your hand sanitizer and dodge those germs.

It never fails, 3 PM comes and it's my tiredest 'end of the rope' hour of the whole day. The busyness of the morning catches up with me and collides with knowing there is still several more hours before bedtime. 3 PM always gives me an overwhelming desire to crawl up and lay on the couch. Of course, life goes on and children whine and a little bit of activity is needed to get us through that afternoon crash.

To add a bit of fuel to the fire, Josie is slowly transitioning from 2 to 1 naps a day and by this part of the afternoon she can be crabby and tired. So, out comes some pots and pans along with miscellaneous kitchen equipment that I grabbed from the closest drawer. Cool water with a splash of soapy bubbles is sloshed together and it all adds up to a great distraction for my two kids. The squeals of delight quickly turned 3 PM into 4 PM and somehow it was nearing 5 PM and I can totally handle 5 PM.











Of course, Ben has to join in on his sister's silly outside water fun and so out he comes to our patio and proceeds to dive into the bowls of soapy water with his goggles. These two had such a great easy afternoon while I enjoyed a glass of crisp cool vino and supervised their patio play. I think we are going to haul out our art easel for a little messy painting fun the next time the afternoon crash finds me (tomorrow?!).

We are back in the city and I'm currently trying to re-moisturize my skin after I neglected it a little with all the dry desert heat and glorious sun that I soaked up. I knew I had to make it a priority when Ben proclaimed, 'Mum! You've got snake skin on your face!'. I do love the honesty of my 4 year old and he was actually sort of correct. So, right now I'm sitting and blogging with some serious hydration slathered all over my face and waiting for it to sink in and get rid of all those dry snake skin parts. Really thankful that the other week I treated myself to a refill of Hydradew mask from Skoah.

As soon as we got back I had great intentions of getting all of our holiday laundry unpacked and into the washing machine. I absolutely hate having suitcases laying around, especially living in an apartment where there is no place to hide them out of plain sight. There just isn't enough floor space to let things sit and wait. So, I tried my best to do the wash and put things away but then the tiredness of the early morning and flight caught up with me and I just couldn't finish the job. So, this morning while the baby naps and the boy is at preschool I will try my hardest to finish things off and put away all things related to travel, but only after I fix the snake skin on my face.

When you come back from traveling do you let your suitcases sit around or are you eager to unpack and put things away? I'm most certain that if I had a basement or a mud room that my suitcases would sit there until a week or more went by!

This Mother's Day I'll be with my family soaking up our last day in the hot desert sun in Scottsdale Arizona. We're excited to be staying at the Fairmont in Scottsdale and I'm already day dreaming about a little poolside lounging. I'm thinking that Mother's Day might be nice with a brunch together and then maybe a mojito in hand while we all lounge poolside and just relax with no rush to be anywhere. We've been to Arizona before and always enjoy visiting our family and also the change of scenery. Luckily the flight is short and sweet, which is always a bonus when you are traveling with a 'lap child' or just children in general.


We can't wait to be here!

The last time we had to fly our seats were not together and were on opposites ends of the aircraft. I tried to be all, 'it's no big deal!' but the truth was I was sweating a little when I took my seat with the baby and sat down in between two men. Of course, Josie just wanted to nurse nurse nurse her little heart out and I decided not to care at all about the two dudes on either side of my shoulders and just did my thing. I had one of those large soft Aden & Anais swaddling blankets that I used as a nursing scarf and also a blanket for the baby. She napped and nursed and I waited patiently for my husband to appear with a glass of wine or to take the baby out of my hands. He did appear, just before landing and he did whisk Josie away.

This time Josie is 6 months older but will still be a lap child on the plane. I'm expecting quite a few antics as the girl has just mastered walking and I'm going to prepare with lots of treats to get her to sit down with me. At nearly 16 months old she is quite a persistent little girl who enjoys a good loud shout if she doesn't get her way. I've decided to just take it all in stride and dream about Mother's Day poolside with my family instead of sweating over the potential plane antics.

Besides being excited to stay at the Fairmont I'm also looking forward to a double date night with my bother in law and his wife. We are going to leave the kids behind and go to and check out the iPic Theatre which sounds like a really fun time. Think dinner and a movie (and drinks!) all in one place at the same time. We don't have this in Vancouver and I'm excited to go and try it out.



Bring on the desert heat!

When I had my first baby my breastfeeding goal was to simply nurse him through till his first year. I knew that breast milk was the gold standard but because of my own experiences I equated weaning to be at 12 months of age. I didn't know about the benefits of breastfeeding past 12 months of age and so I weaned my boy and that was that. This time around I came with different knowledge and knew that I wanted to nurse my babe past her 1 year birthday. I actually have no specific goal this second time around, instead I am just letting things be and knowing that we are reaping the benefits of full term breastfeeding.

Let's roll it out! The top 5 reasons I am still breastfeeding my nearly 16 month old babe and have no plans to stop just yet.



1. Human milk is meant for human babies. Each mammal makes milk that is perfect for their offspring and humans are no exception. Monkey milk is perfect for growing monkeys and cow milk is great for growing cows. The same thing goes for human milk! As a human our milk is different than other mammals milk and contains the right ingredients for us. To be honest I didn't give it much thought until the second baby.

2. Breastfeeding is not just about nutrition but it is also about comfort, and we all know that older babies and toddlers can often use a little comforting! Whether it is teething pains or soothing tears from tumbling while learning to walk, nursing an older baby is a great way to provide relaxing quiet comfort and is probably my favourite reason to nurse past 12 months of age. It's also the perfect way to reconnect with your busy toddler who has so much on the go. I've found that when I'm doing my long shifts at the hospital nothing beats reconnecting with my girl through breastfeeding. The comfort factor of breastfeeding extends past my nursling and is also beneficial to myself. Coming home in the morning after a night shift and hoping into bed with Josie so she can nurse exudes comfort and connection for the both of us.

3. Nursing as a form of meditation. Nursing a baby past 12 months is less frequent than a younger baby and, for us, it's often done first thing in the morning or before bed. I've found that some of my most relaxing quiet moments are when my girl nurses just after she wakes up or before I put her down for the night. Often when I'm putting her to bed we lay down together and nurse and my whole being relaxes and I feel like I can finally breathe. There is nothing else to do other than lay quietly together and take in my growing girl and just be in the moment. To smell her hair and smooch her cheek and decompress about the whirlwind day that was just before us is a form of meditation. I know that when I am much much older these will be some of my fondest most reflective moments of motherhood.

4. An older baby communicates differently about wanting to nurse compared to a younger baby and the cute factor is huge with nursing Josie as she gets older. The way she asks me to nurse is purely adorable and the way she tells me that 'ol' lefty' is empty and it's time to switch sides is actually sort of priceless. This relationship we have is truly amazing and I am so glad that it is still going strong.

I feel like I have to make a comment about people who say, 'once they can ask to nurse they are too old!'. The thing is, right from the very very start when that newborn rushes into the world, they ask to nurse. They put their tiny wrinkly hand up to their mouth, they thrust their tongue and ask for milk. When they are tiny and cry out and you hear 'neh neh neh' they are asking you for milk. Babies always ask for milk, it doesn't change whether they are 1 hour old or past 1 year old.

5. Each time I nurse I get a wonderful rush of oxytocin hormone (AKA the love hormone) and the moment fills up with total bliss and happiness. I get this lovely nurturing burst of love feeling and want to shout out, 'I LOVE YOU! I LOVE YOU!' to my baby. I actually do say it out loud and Josie smiles up at me and giggles. I didn't realize what an oxytocin junkie I was until someone told me how much they missed that feeling once they had weaned.

One day my girl will wean but for now I continue to go with the flow and do what I know is best for us. I will relish these nursing moments that we have and continue to reap the benefits of nursing past 12 months old. In celebration of this journey I recently went to Diane's Lingerie on Granville Street and had myself fitted with two new fabulous non-nursing bras to add to the rotation of my beloved Anita underwire nursing bras.

I was growing tired of the mess of old books collecting dust in the kids bedroom. We had piles of books everywhere so I did a massive rotation of the kids books last week. It turns out that we have an amazing collection of children's books thanks to different gifts over the years (side note: I love when they receive books as a present!). I felt a little bit like my sisters and mum, all 3 of them are elementary school teachers, as I sorted through our piles of books and semi categorized them. I put away all the off season books, think Valentines and Easter books, and brought out some old classics that had managed to be packed away in the back of their closet.

We have this tiny canvas bookcase that had been shoved into a corner of their bedroom and I dusted it off and brought it out to a little nook in our living room. The funny thing is, by simply changing the location and display of a few forgotten books both of the kids got really excited over their new book display. Josie has been caught sitting on the floor and flipping through board books by herself and Ben has been helping himself to his collection of Highlights magazines that he had forgotten all about. I love when what was old becomes new again and I really love my kids looking at books.



When I ever catch my kids silently 'reading' their books, I never disturb them or call them away. I'm okay with them being a little bit late to bed because they are busy reading. I grew up with a love of reading and it helped my creative side and my writing skills, especially throughout my school years. Reading is one thing that I really want to support with my own children and I'll try to continually encourage them to get absorbed in a good story.


Josie really loves the board books that have mirrors inside of them. Here she is smooching herself back.


Do you have a book lover in your home?

I've always been keen with embracing technology and am happy that it exists in my life. Technology was how I met my husband, back in the days when it was considered a little weird and unusual to do meet people that way. Right now I'm happily loving technology in my life as a parent; especially when I'm off doing a shift and away from my kids for all of their wakeful hours.

When I'm working I've been really lucky that our nanny will send me short texts about what she is up to with the kids followed by cute pics, my husband does the same thing when I'm working over the weekend. Getting these little glimpses into their day makes being away so much nicer and keeps us connected. Somehow they always look so quiet and well behaved in the iPhone photos!




Wrinkly feet post pool. My husband is brave and takes the two of them to our pool alone. I haven't done that yet but he does it every weekend that I work. Then there are the usual playtime antics and being silly on my bed.



When the weather is dry outdoor play is a must. Heck, even when it is raining outdoor play still happens. All that running around makes bedtime a breeze which helps when you are solo parenting.

Throughout my work day I get to keep up on the adventures that my husband has with the kids and I'm happy to be included, even if it is via iPhone pictures. While sometimes going the change in routine of going off to work can be a bit of a break for me, I do miss my family and these little snapshots really do help make a mama feel okay with being away. When my hubby texts me the following photo I also totally understand his moment. 'Give me coffee! Give me an adult beverage!', I can totally support that.

Tonight I have the nanny booked and my husband and I are dashing out together to go have some fun. Dating in marriage is vital in keeping things fresh and interesting, and it's also something that easily falls to the side when the day to day keeps grinding by. It's been a little while since our last big date. We're going back to L'Abbatoir in Gastown for dinner (I visited there for my last birthday and really loved their cocktails) and I'm really excited about our evening out and all of the deliciousness.

Ben's preschool has a day off today and I'm excited for the easy relaxed morning at home lingering instead of rushing around. Side note, why do my children both like to wake up so early? 4:30-5 AM is Josie's new 'let's get up and go' routine and I'm already over it. My kids most certainly don't get this early to rise trait from me.

This weekend I have a massage appointment that I booked at least a month ago and am so happy that I did. Pushing around all the heavy equipment at the hospital really starts to strain your body and relief is needed and so is the 1 hour of laying still. I think that is what I crave the most.

I'm hoping the rain slows down and we have a sunny weekend. I need a coffee walk in the sun with my family in a bad way. The soggy raincoats and boots are starting to get old and so is all the indoor time spent in the apartment. Plus sunny Spring days in Vancouver make it all worth it.

The end of my weekend is always capped off by watching Game of Thrones while lazing on the couch. Last weeks episode was quite gruesome but overall I've been sucked into their worlds.






Between all of these lovely parts there is still one lone shift to do at the hospital. Have a great weekend!

Going back to work after this maternity leave has been a bit of a bumpy transition for me. Of course, I am very grateful that I get to do work that is meaningful to me and constantly sparking the birthy side of me. While I'm really enjoying being around all of the labouring mamas (and there has been A LOT of them the last few weeks) I am finding shift work to be very exhausting right now. The night shifts continue to leave me with a hangover feeling reminenscent of a night with too much tequila, and while this is not a new feeling post night shift it is taking me a lot longer to shake it off than it did in the years before.


Awhile back I was sent an old photo of me at a birth back when I was pregnant with Josie. I truly love the work that I do.

Of course, I thought it was a great idea to work a couple of night shifts and stay awake after my last one and be on full on mama duty. No rest for the wicked? This style of living is not for me and I don't think many people do very good being awake and active for 24 hours or more in a row. I become crabby and short and not the kind of wife or mama that I am meant to be.

I know that 'this too shall pass' but the thing is, I don't want to just let the days and nights roll over me wishing and waiting for an easier time to come around the corner. I want to enjoy these moments and really live my days off with my family and feel strong and healthy and on top of all of those 'things'. I don't want to always say, 'I'm just so tired' or be plagued by fatigue from working and raising little children. I'm constantly trying to seek balance and I think that I still have a way to go in finding it and figuring out how to make things tick. I also know that this problem is not unique to me. Instead, it's just my growing pain as of right now.

Just when I think I am at my limit with things, the baby naps for an unheard of 3 hours and my husband cleans the kitchen from top to bottom and I sleep 6.5 hours in a row (I'd really love 9). These little things give me some solace and I start to think that maybe things are really okay. Over time the crabbiness slowly starts to dissipate and I start to daydream about hiring a cleaning team to come and mop my floors and scrub my toilets. Maybe this would help my day to day balance and leave me feeling a bit more rested?


Blowing bubbles in grandma's back yard. Easter, 2013.

What I know for sure is that tiredness can be forgotten when you look at a photo of yourself. In this captured moment I had gotten off work that morning, had a short nap, then went to Victoria to celebrate Easter with my family. I was tired and hot and sweaty and probably a bit irritable but I love this photo that was caught with my daughter. Just like that I can forget the tiredness.