Mama in the City

Order! Can we please have some order in this apartment! Pick up the socks! Put away the toys! Mess makes me feel crazy and too much stuff makes me feel irritated at the very least.

I like things to be neat and tidy and prefer very minimal knick knacks or collections to accumulate in our small space. When Ben was wee it was easy to keep things in his bedroom up to my own personal expectations. Everything had its spot and each possession was carefully chosen and selected.

Natural wooden pull toys, soft cuddly bears, colourful bouncing balls. All together they were able to fit into one large bin. Clean and simple!

Then his 2nd and his 3rd birthday came and large toys were gifted to him. Our sweet Ben started to have real opinions on what prized possessions stayed in his room. That old plastic crap from McDonalds became a special toy that must stay!

Puzzles and games and random pieces of play dough all came to live in his bedroom. Soon there were collections of rocks, sticks and pinecones all put on display. The other day I had no energy to argue against the mess and so I temporarily gave in. Up went his Ikea tent and out came the sleeping bag and his various camping accessories and just like that a mess was disguised by a childhood memory.


Ben spent 3 nights sleeping in that tent before I could no longer stand the clutter and put it all away.

I've been a carless city girl for the last 8 out of the 9 years that I've lived downtown. The first year I had an old car that mostly sat in my parking spot. I've rented and I've Zipped but never did 4 wheels ever belong to me. Living car free was an easy lifestyle as a single gal, I walked a lot and took taxi cabs as needed. I flew on the float plane to go and visit my family and it was never a big deal for me not to have a set of wheels.

Then came my first baby and being carless became a bit more work. More effort and planning took place to book cars and haul carseats, but I did it for the last 3.5 years. I even wrote a blog post about how much I loved using Zip Cars in the past. When our second baby came outings became a bit more of a big deal and it wasn't as easy to be a carless family.

For the last 4 months I rocked the carless mama gig and walked everywhere with our train of a stroller, but it was becoming more of a big deal to do outings that required me to go further than my own little hood. So, the other week I bought a car. A four door hatchback with a bit of zoom zoom to it to be exact.

It turns out that I love having a car. I still am walking places, pushing my stroller train, but I'm able to do a bit more. All those friends out of town may actually see me a bit more often! I'm digging having a hatchback and have already broken in my brand new crumb free car by having a hatchback picnic while waiting for the ferry last weekend.


Ben was so excited to have a snack in the back of the car! Even Josie got in on the relaxing.




Moon roof!

The other day I was sitting in my car, staring at my hands holding on to the steering wheel, and I noticed my hands are aging. The skin is looser and extra soft and I can make wrinkles appear and disappear with a flex of my fingers. If I clench my fist and then relax my hand, I can see the age creep up in slow motion.

While I'm only 32 years old, these hands have already done a lot. I'm already telling my future old lady self to take notice right now. One day there will be deep burrowed wrinkles and skin so soft that it moves back and forth with ease.


Photo credit

These hands of mine have done many things to acquire their age so far. They've held the hands of dying patients who were all alone in their last moments on earth. My hand stroking the top of their hand; back and forth, back and forth quietly and gently. Squeezing them to let them know that I was right there with them.

My hands have compressed the chest of a newborn who needed their heart to start beating; fingers poised and ready to go, up and down, up and down. They've caught the slippery life of a brand new baby coming into this world with a sudden rush.

My hands have held my lover's hands in soft embrace. So frequently we've held hands that I'm sure I could pick out his among others without looking. I've poked my fingers at least a million times to squeeze out a tiny drop of scarlet blood to test my blood sugar, aging my skin just a little bit more.

Right now they have a subtle brush of tan coating on the tops, a direct result of pushing my stroller in the sunshine. One day the day will come and I will look down at the deep deep crevices and wonder when did it all happened. When did I grow old? I will gratefully remind myself about all that they have touched and this moment that made me stop.

Starting the day off by sleeping in till 10 AM is a perfect present for a mama. While not quite like the old days of sleeping in, it was still me in my bed till 10 AM. Woken up with hot coffee and a croissant and a baby ready to eat. The croissant tasted extra delicious as my diet has been quite lean these past 6 weeks.

An afternoon grassy picnic with my family of 4 followed, complete with a cold bottle of white and a perfectly packed basket. My husband treated me to a delicious array of homemade goodness, I'm very thankful for a man who can cook!



Our baby girl impressed us with her sweet nature and we marvelled over the fact that she was 4 months old that very day. She is a chubby bubby with thick baby rolls and bald with only a smattering of hair. So, we thought we would try to see what she would look like with a bunch of brunette strands. The picture speaks volumes.





Every single one of us picnicked that day. Nursing in the grass on a sun filled day may seem glamorous, but there were pebbles and sticks coating the ground. Nonetheless, I did adore being able to bask in the fresh air and the cool grass and nurse my girl.



Each of my babes had their own quiet moment. A post milk nap for the baby and a perfect grass angel for my boy. There was no fighting or tears or general upset. Just a nice low key family picnic.






How did you celebrate Mother's Day?

Over the last few weeks I've started to do this weird thing where I reminisce about the way things are while they are happening. It's sort of like feeling sad when your on the last bite of a perfect ice cream cone. I'm thinking this is probably due to the realization that in a year or so the school years will be upon my family and things will change.

Family vacations will be planned around the school calendar. There will be no more middle of the week lunches out with my boy. Casual play dates will be left for the weekend or after school, and that is if we can fit them around everything else we will cram into the weekend.

I know this feeling is probably directly related to my current complete submergence into the depths of motherhood. We're all having a lot of fun with me being at home and each day has something fun planned into it. The time off from work has been so much more rewarding than my last maternity leave. Probably because I'm that much more available to Ben. I know that I'm so fortunate to have this time at home with my family.

It's days like yesterday that give me this funny feeling. Strangely, it's a worrisome feeling mixed with total gratitude. See, yesterday was our perfect day together; we all puttered around the apartment during the morning and then off we went to our regular gymnastics class. A class that is smack in the middle of a weekday morning. A class that can't happen once the school years start. It might have been the carefree lunch out after that made that let that funny feeling creep up on me. I'm aware that this kind of day is limited. It's like I'm getting to the middle of my favourite ice cream cone, and while there is still a bit more to go, I'm nearing the end.

After our lunch we went to the park for unlimited sunshine and played with no clock watching at all. We met new friends and splashed in the fountain and as we walked home Ben said to me, 'mama this was the best day!'. Then, wait for it, he grabbed my hand. I know. Heart bursting mama moment. I'm almost sure that when my children are grown it will be days like yesterday that will be some of my fondest memories of my motherhood.

It seems that once you get into the third month of babyhood things start to pick up and change. Baby starts to have longer awake periods and is looking around and being interested in what is happening. So, you start thinking about entertaining the baby and soon rattles and stuffies start to appear and accumulate. One milestone we are currently experiencing is the joy of the Jolly Jumper.

With our first babe we brought it out around 12 weeks and we were hopeful that maybe this would be the magic trick for our high needs baby. As if a bit of jumping around would cure his fussiness or make him sleep longer than 45 minutes at a time (it didn't). It was worth a shot to say the least and made for a cute photo op.


Baby Ben, November 2008

Now Josie is well into her 3rd month and has taken to standing up any chance she is given. So, we hauled out the Jolly Jumper and this baby digs it!


Baby Josie, May 2012


Josie loved hanging out in the door way, and her big brother loved spinning her around and watching her dangle. He was so excited by the jumper and kept asking when it was his turn to get in it and try it out. Oh, my sweet sweet Ben.








We have more new milestones going on in our home. Such as, attempts at rolling over and squealing in delight and then screeching in anger when one arm gets stuck. I'm really enjoying this age of Josie's babyhood and she makes it quite easy for me to do so. There is a lot of joy going on every day in our home and I'm so appreciative that I get to take this whole year off to be at home with my babies, both of them.

Wake up! Wake up! I'm lucky my alarm clock is so cute and quite a babblying morning person. She wakes up with smiles and coos and babbles while kicking her legs around. From here we are quickly all cozy together in my bed, I'm still not an up and at 'em type of woman. Big brother Ben joins us and sings, 'good morning! good morning baby!'.

Children are fed and dressed and I do a quick tidy of the apartment. Wipe counters, pick up dirty clothing and do a load of laundry. Soon we are out the door and on our way out to our first destination. Todays trip was picked by Ben so we are all headed to the big book shop downtown.




Got to wear the cool shades for our outing.



Just hanging around, bean bag style.

Time to push on, so I load up the stroller and off we go. We found a big construction site along our walk home, complete with a big digger in action. This means we all pulled over and stopped to watch for a long while.

This is a familiar day for us and we have done it many times before and it always includes playtime at a few parks along our way home and today was no exception. Baby J has been a sleeping beauty for the most part since we left home. Except for a short nursing session at the park on our way home.









We get home and I am so ready for our daily quiet time. Ben goes to his room and lays on his bed flipping through books and I take the baby to my bed for a quiet nursing session and a chance to relax laying down. This actually lasted for a good hour and just as I was thinking how amazing this quiet time was working out, Miss. Josie perked up and got a bit antsy. So, we all got ready and headed outside for another run around at the park. There is something about fresh air that calms this baby down.



While this day was pretty lovely, there were still the usual antics and hair pulling moments. My hands were too busy during these lively periods to snap photos on my iPhone. At the end of the day I collapsed on the couch with my 'at home' hairdo and my little baby.

It wasn't until I was growing a baby that I even started to think about the cleaning products I bought. I was buying the usual top brands; heavy on the 'clean' scent and often warnings to wear gloves. I didn't have much knowledge about toxins in cleaning products and the impact on my health. It wasn't until my pregnancy with Ben that I even started to think about what I was potentially exposing my body and growing baby to.

My first attempt was to stop cleaning completely and told my husband to do it. You know, for the baby. Since that didn't pan out, I started seeking out more green products to use instead. Even just a few years ago green products didn't always to seem to do the job. In recent years I became a big user of Method cleaning products and felt pretty happy with their green standing and the job they actually did.

This past week I was invited to a blogger event sponsored by Seventh Generation and hosted by Whole Foods. We met up with book author Gillian Deacon, author of 'There's Lead In Your Lipstick', for a tour of a few aisles to talk about toxins in household products. This topic definitely interests me and I was curious about what small changes I could make that would have an impact.





Listening intently to Gillian talk about how to read labels on products. Look for a shorter list with non-synthetic ingredients.

Of course the parts of the tour that really spoke to me were about the products that I use on my baby. From the fancy bath wash, to the scented wipes, and even the special baby laundry soap. Apparently, all those delicious smelling creams and potions are not needed to keep my baby clean and happy. I learned that I need to be a savvy consumer and read labels and opt for more natural fragrances like lavender or grapefruit oil.

A few weeks ago I decided to stop using soap on Josie's little body because she was getting dry rough patches of skin. Turns out, she is still just as fresh and clean with just a soap free soak in the tub. Gillian talked about how babies actually need a lot less products and to always read ingredient labels. Just because something is marketed to be made for a baby, doesn't mean that it is always a good product. A baby's skin is equipped with a great balance of oils that keeps their skin perfect without a lot of product.


Touring the baby aisle with Gillian. An aisle I spend some time in buying diapers, wipes and the usual baby stuff.

Do you buy products based on their greenness? What changes have you already made to avoid toxins in products? Check out the Good Guide to see where your current products are ranked.

For some reason I felt compelled to tell Ben that I was on a diet. Which sparked a whole onslaught of questions about what a diet is, why I am on a diet, etc, etc, etc. I thought that talking about it with my 3 year old would hold me more accountable from swiping leftovers off his dinner plate. Silly mama! Instead, I got an earful from Ben about how he likes me in my current squishy form.

Things are going well on the weight loss front. My weekend weigh in had me at 186, which is 3.5 pounds down from my starting weight 2 weeks ago. Recently I read an interesting article about weight loss and breastfeeding and the risk of dropping the pounds too fast. The gist of the article was how toxins are stored in our fat and when we drop pounds our fat release these toxins. If I was to be extreme and lose a lot of weight rapidly, the sudden release of toxins would leave my body partially via my breastmilk. Interesting food for thought.


Post nursing session at the park. Working on burning those extra calories via breastfeeding!

From all of the different articles I've read on breastfeeding and weight loss I've picked up a few things. Postpartum mamas should wait at least two months to begin any type of weight loss diet, some articles even said 6 months. This is to ensure our milk supply is in full swing before we calorie decrease. We also should not be overly restrictive in calories as this can adversely damage our milk supply and ultimately effect our babies. Eating healthy foods is the best plan. Of course, we all know an actual banana is a better choice than say chocolate chip banana bread, I don't need an expert to tell me that one.

I'm eating breakfast every morning and am even eating combos of things I never did before. Like yesterdays scrambled eggs with a side of asparagus and cherry tomatoes. Hold up! Vegetables at breakfast? I'm snacking a lot but on healthy things like chopped up apples and handfuls of almonds. I'm packing along my own snacks instead of being tempted to pick up something while I am out. I have nixed the afternoon baked goods that I was grabbing but I am still reaching for that PM coffee.

I know how to lose weight, I lost 40+ pounds in the past. So, I'm using my past knowledge with my current situation and hoping that slowly these extra pounds will melt off of me. All while consciously fuelling my body for the amazing job it is doing of feeding my baby. I'm also totally milking the fact that breastfeeding burns about 500 calories a day.


The only time chubby legs and a rolly belly are a good thing.

Last March I went in for my routine dental cleaning and learned that the new hygienist was also (apparently) a psychic. She told me that she was psychic during the first five minutes of my cleaning. She proceeded to predict that I'd be having a baby girl and would be getting pregnant very soon. Apparently, having your plaque scraped is the perfect opportunity for a talker to bestow their psychic predictions on to you. She went on to tell me that she felt that I was the glue that holds my family together and the person that really makes us into a family. All this while I got my teeth cleaned and there were no extra fees added on to my work dental plan!

Well, she was correct about the baby girl part. Josie is here and she is already 3 months old. This baby has done wonders for me and has made me really embrace the art of my own motherhood. Rounding us up to a family of 4 has made me think more about what it means to be a family. A healthy thriving growing family. Having my second baby has made me think about what it means to be a mother to a family. I'm not just floundering, I am growing.

This time around I've found myself much more relaxed and less likely to stress out about normal baby stuff. Like having your baby cry in the grocery store line up as people stare you down. Of course, temperament of my baby plays a huge role in why I feel this way. I had my high needs fussy baby first and now I have a pretty text book baby. For the most part, I feel confident and at ease and in tune with my mothering instincts. I don't have the same urge to question my acts of parenting like I did the first time around and I'm just letting it all unfold. I know that one day my sweet babies will be growly teenagers but for now they are both tucked away in their beds with only sweetness on their faces.




PS. The dental hygienist also told me that you can cure type 1 diabetes by eating certain green foods...and you probably can guess what I thought about that.