Purposefully Slow: A Love Story4
It’s been two weeks since I gave birth to my third baby and I’m blissfully soaking it all in without worrying about getting back to normal. I am not rushing around or making too many plans or even putting on a bra. I am purposefully taking it slow. I am giving myself time to recover and heal and readjust and I am allowing time to tick very slowly while I fall in love with my newest child.
I feel so fortunate that I don’t have work on the horizon anytime soon and I don’t feel any external pressure to get back to a new version of our old normal. I am functioning in slow post partum recovery mode and it feels just perfect. There is a lot of lazing around in that newborn sleep deprived fog state. Which, by the way, doesn’t get any easier the more babies you have. The only difference is you really grasp just how temporary it is and how all too soon it will be a distant memory. It feels like more of a privilege than a hassle.
Over the week and a bit that we’ve been back home from the hospital, we’ve done a lot of laying in bed. Breastfeeding, holding the baby and just hanging out. My new norm seems to be wearing pajamas until the middle of the day, or all day and into the next day, and I am so okay with that. I gave up feeling guilty if the kids were on the iPad once again and am letting things just unfold. One big thing I learned from the other post partum recoveries is not to rush that return to busy day to day life. Visits with friends can wait. Dinner can be take out or a big bowl of cereal. Eventually the new norm will emerge and those newborn days will be over.
Two months before I had Elisabeth I told my husband that it would be great if he was able to take some time off work once I had the baby. We usually plan a family vacation in March or April and I thought that maybe he could take time off work in lieu of that Hawaiian vacation to help get us all sorted as a family of five. I was pretty pleased when he said he most definitely would take the time off work to be with the family, but really I was the most pleased when he actually took the time off work to take care of us.
Most mornings I feel like a truck has hit me and like there is no way I will be able to make it through the day. Some mornings I have actually been awake all night long nursing and soothing our wee girl and when the clock hits 6 AM and I hear the big kids getting up, I start to feel really overwhelmed with exhaustion. So, when my husband gets the kids ready and takes Ben to school and comes home and makes me eggs and toast, well I pretty much fall in love with him again.
I think we both have fallen in love so deeply with this baby and we are just so happy to spend time with her. Outside life can stand still for now. The last few mornings he has taken her out on a seawall walk and I get an hour of sleep. That ONE HOUR is amazing. Seriously people, who knew you could get by on a a couple hours of broken sleep and actually still seem sort of human. I think the oxytocin must be flowing in abundance over here.